You know Some times it seems that when "it rains it pours". And the Bible says that "it rains on both the just and the unjust". Well, I seem to be feeling a lot of rain right now. There is so much that the Lord is working on right now and I am feeling a little overwhelmed! We are trying to find a church that we can worship and serve. I am trying to support my husband and follow his lead. The Lord has answered a lot of prayers rather suddenly. I don't know that I am quite ready for all the change that He is being about all at once. My husband, who I know loves the Lord, has been away for awhile, but is back full force! It's a praise that he wants to go to a good God-worshipful church. But finding one that he is happy with is hard. Now there is my mom. She has struggled with mental-illness for 2 years. I have felt, at least, that she has struggled through them. I've been praying that my dad would be able to see it and help her. Well, the Lord has answered my prayers! He can't deny the need to get her help now. I never would have thought that the answer would be in a form that is SO HARD to accept. I just praise God that she didn't hurt herself or anyone else.
I am trying to remember that He is the one in control. NOT ME!! I don't have to be the one to do the "fixing" or to "take the blame" for not being there enough. God says that I should cast my cares on him. I have to look for my rest in Him. I am going to have to keep things in perspective of that. The Lord knows my mom, He loves her more then I do. He is probably grieving for her torment just as I do. He doesn't enjoy the pain that she's going through. How much His Spirit must be fighting for her as we speak! But at the same time He is testing her with fire (not litterly!). I guess well just have to see how she comes out on the other side.
I am especially touched today by the words of a song written by Ben and Robin Pasley of 100 portraits called "Faithful":
Chores is as fallows:
Faithful, you are Faithful
I have found nothing but good in Your heart
Loving you are loving
I am in love with the way that you are
Thankful, I am thankful
I have been running away on my own
and the you found me
Oh, how you loved me
I know you'll never leave, leave me alone!
OH how wonderful to know that he is faithful to me even when I'm not very faithful. He's loving to me when I'm not very lovable and I am so very thankful that with all my faults and in all my struggles He has never left me alone!!
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